Thank you for all the wonderful messages of support, all saying how sorry you are that this round has been so awful...
But if our lives were a novel, you would find the nightmare we've been through over the past few days difficult to believe! In fact, I think most people would put the book down and say those sort of coincidences do not happen in real life. Well peruse on 'Dear Reader' and get your head around this. Remember I was feeling really awful and had dreadful diarrhoea, which had been going on since Sunday.
Late on Thursday, Donald was informed by a junior doctor that Pat had widespread and inoperable cancer throughout her abdomen, but they had only just been able to diagnose this from the CAT scan. There was nothing that could be done except palliative care. They discussed her coming home to die, but we explained why that was not possible, so the hospital were to set in motion the process of involving MacMillan nurses and moving her to a hospice for a 'few weeks to a few months". He was asked to come back the next day to meet the senior doctor who would explain more.
Late that same night we had a phone call from the police in Suffolk to say my first cousin, for whom I am next-of-kin, had come off her motor bike and was being transferred to Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge. We initially tried to call A&E but they'd never heard of her; called my brother to ask him to keep trying, but he got no useful information out of them either; and collapsed exhausted in bed, but neither of us got much sleep.
The next morning we started all the calls about cousin Sally, discovering that she was in the Neuro critical care unit at Addenbrookes and had been admitted straight there, not through A&E, cos it was a transfer from Ipswich hospital. She has a very serious head injury and was kept sedated until Monday and is now saying some words but is not conscious. At times they sound optimistic, then the tone changes, so it is difficult to know how it will progress. We went to see her this afternoon and it was very distressing.
Later the same day, still Friday, Donald and our elder daughter Sri, who managed to take the day off to come up to help, went into the hospital and spoke to the Senior doctor. Basically the message was the same but now they were saying a few days to a few weeks, but they would not be arranging the MacMillan nurses or the hospice until the next week. They had a good time with Pat, and Sri was able to give her a lot of pleasure and comfort, as Pat recognised she had come up from London especially. During this I sat in the Big C Cancer charity centre quietly and was even offered a free reflexology session, which was relaxing.
Less than 1.5 hours after they left, the hospital phoned to say that Pat had gone to sleep after they left and died in her sleep, so Donald and Sri went up to give last good-byes in a state of shock - and for Sri, the first time she had seen a dead body. Obviously it was a welcome release but we had not prepared for this so fast. I tried to help by phoning as many people as possible from home, but also fielding calls re Sally from friends, work colleages and relatives.
Phone calls went on til very late and I went to bed about 10:30 absolutely exhausted and still feeling rotten. I realised I was feeling hot, so we took my temperature, which was over 38. This is when they say you must call the hospital if you are on chemo, cos it could mean a serious infection, when your blood counts are low. We did so, had to dress and pack a bag and go to the hospital which is 16 miles away. I was admitted and Donald did not get home til 2:30 and surprise surprise could not sleep. He phoned my sister in NZ who was just flabbergasted. He then sat out in the garden watching the dawn and listening to the dawn chorus, which is wonderful here, and then managed about 2 hours sleep, ready for another exciting day in the Carmichael family saga.
Since then Donald has been trying to chase up and down to me and I've been very ill until yesterday evening. I even had to have 3 units of blood, cos my haemoglobin got so low. He has also been up and down to Cambridge and regularly speaking to the doctors there and in between grieving for Pat and starting to make arrangements. He is just beyond exhaustion now. I was able to come out this morning, because all the emergency is over and my blood counts are now very strong indeed - but still tired, not surprisingly.
We are going to get the absolute basics sorted tomorrow (register death, book funeral directors etc, start the process with the solicitor) and then we are going to Scotland for our long awaited long w/e with our friends, to collapse into their supporting arms! I don't think either of us have needed a break quite so much ever before. Everything else will have to wait for next week, but of course they zap me again next Wednesday...
This time they promise to give me the injections, which build up the white cells, much more quickly so hopefully, I will not crash this time.
I do hope that the next installment of this saga is much more mundane...